today the troops pulled out of iraq? did anyone see much about this on the news? personally what i got from today was al franken’s win and michael jackson’s will.
hm.

Brother leaves tomorrow. The stress of it all is compounding onto mom. I will miss him, though he claims to be able to contact us whenever he wants to from one of four different phones, so we will see. So odd to think that he will be 20 on Saturday but that he’s leaving in the name of his ‘country’ before then. As a teenager, essentially. 

On Sunday I peered into the freezer to find a bag of frozen ‘Grands’ cinnamon rolls. Already pre-baked and iced, just waiting to be popped into the oven before consumption. In cases such as these, all I can really do is say, are you kidding me? We went from slaving away for hours to make the dough, filling and icing for cinnamon rolls, to the kind that you roll out of a can but still must ice, to pre-made/pre-baked, frozen versions of the original. There is something very wrong with things like that in this world, and I don’t like it, not one little bit. So my response? I started my homemade whiskey bread pudding this afternoon, which is now soaking overnight in the good-ole-fashioned deliciousness that will be finished tomorrow. 

I must reiterate here how very much I dislike the idea behind towing. What I dislike more, though, is the tow man telling the people whose car he just towed that if they would have parked across the street there wouldn’t have been a problem. Thanks buddy, thanks a lot for the advice.

In addition to the chuckles I get from S.C. governor and his extra-marital relations, I do feel sympathy for the situation. Afterall, it is sad that one’s dirty laundry, and all its details, must be revealed for all to see and hear, regardless of occupation.

However, the laughter continues only due to the very incriminating statements that Mr. Governor has made in the past. It’s no secret that politicians must answer for all of their actions. Well, they must answer for the ones that people choose to spill either because said politician was too sloppy or because he didn’t do a good enough job paying off/covering up. In any case, I do feel sorry for him and his family, but mostly his family. And Maria, and her hips, well I just am not at liberty to discuss her. Sometimes we can’t help being the secretary, as someone once told me.

Six months till Christmas!

Brother leaves in five days. Halfway around the world he’ll go, when he’ll be back no one knows.

And today I got a pair of panties with mermaids on them. And the tree was happy.

And oh, one more, South Carolina, thank you. You always give me a reason to laugh. Thanks for that.

sleep

Someday the world will look back at these days and I’m sure it will be revolutionary. I just hope for a resolution for the Iranians. Looks like things will never be the same though, regardless.

Two months since my birthday. Today. 

I really want to sleep but just can’t do it. Bought a new moleskine today, regardless of the miraculous find the other day, realized I was down to the last few pages. A few good thoughts to drop into here, though, just in case it goes missing again.

time blurs the mistakes, dulls the pain to aches.

visually unaffected, hidden surprise. the tootsie roll center is sour but her silhouette doesn’t know who to follow and her soul is scared to lose her mind. but her mind is in the clouds playing ring-aound-the-rosie with her roley-poleys.

hearts have a mind of their own, remembering what the brain tries to FORGET and forgetting what the brain wants to remember. what wins? to think or feel? wisdom or love? thought or touch?

i love you. i never thought i would wish i didn’t.

 

I’m glad pillowcases exist. Hiding the remnants of what you’ve missed.

I wish there was a way to turn off the moon. Unsing the words or forget the tune. 

But now hours have gone by. I told you the truth, should have lied.

Least I know now, right. What I didn’t know then.

Wont make that mistake though, not again. 

Thanks for that. 

One day I hope you’re right and I’m wrong. 

But if you’re not, I hope it’s not too long

since the song, scene and sign–

time enough for stars to align.

Sometimes I just stare and stare at the sun while it’s setting trying to convince my heart of what my mind already knows. It is the earth that is moving, in more ways than one, while the sun stays exactly where he is. Well I’ve come to the realization that sometimes, maybe oftentimes, there is no amount of convincing that can change the perspective on things like that.

and i love the new regina spektor album.

dot your i’s. cross your t’s.

Rolls her eyes, pushes him aside,

when he pushes the envelope.

Shrugs, leans away further when his hand

Inches closer to a finger, leg.

Doesn’t matter though, next to her he stands.

 

What he says doesn’t sound so sweet

but his deep brown eyes show

the purity of his heart.

And when he cracks a joke

a quick smile breaks her lips apart.

 

Shadows drift in and out of the

safety pinned life they’ve led.

Faded photographs, and memories

Long gone, whisper of times taken

Swiftly, swiftly by the tides out to sea.

 

But her blue eyes with crinkles at the sides

reflect the decades that have passed–

past the disbelief and doubt

of the lives they’ve led; the lives

they could never have lived without.

I try to think of myself as a pretty laid back (most of the time), easy going person. I don’t really let the little things get to me, but I guess we all have our breaking points. Nearly at mine in a couple different facets of life. 

Along those lines, I think I’m becoming more realistic than I’d like. I feel like my naivety is slowly seeping out and there’s nothing that I can do to catch it. Sadly. I guess there comes a time when everyone loses their rose colored spectacles, though. I just really wish it wasn’t like this.

Heat index hit 110 today and yesterday. A combined weekend total of 21 hours out in the sun between Saturday and Sunday. How now brown cow. 

But there are a few gems that I take from this weekend. Like the little boy who dropped his shorts, and peed on the fake palm tree in the middle of the kiddie pool. Really priceless, up until the point that I realized that he didn’t speak nor understand English and he wasn’t understanding a word that I was saying. Well then it was no longer just cute and funny, but sort of weird and creepy as I tried to locate his mother somewhere in the sea of parents and diaper clad munchkins in the ankle deep water. Then there was the mother who argued with me about my punishment techniques after I’d told her son (the incessant pestering type) that for every time he asked me when I’d allow free swim I was going to extend the time before I’d open up the diving well. After she questioned my age and maturity I politely responded by telling her that in order to teach children that behavior A is unacceptable, we provide punishment that reveals to them that behavior A will not be tolerated. “Well he’s ten and that was uncalled for you could have just told him when it would be free swim.” Yes, ma’am I suppose I could have, he would have gotten what he wanted despite his incredibly annoying actions, but you see, then he’d grow up to be just like you, and we don’t want that now do we.

People are crazy.

ppl

The one thing about dreams is they are amazing when you first awake and try and recount all the details silently to yourself. BUT as soon as you begin to tell someone else, suddenly your wonderful and interesting dream becomes little more than a bunch of weird scenic details with awkward circumstances. Like last night, wherein I was traveling with a pack of gorillas, but a flock (?) of bats kept following us. Or the night before where I was trying to get to know the little girl I’d given up for adoption (whose face was just like mine at age two). Both nights there was a giraffe and this unrelenting feeling that something was missing. Weird dream time.

I could write a great book about the weird, annoying idiosyncrasies of the human race vis-a-vis the people I deal with on a daily basis at work. I could write a series by including the experiences and people I’ve met through the plethora of jobs I’ve held since turning 15 and getting my first job. I think though, at the end of the day, I’d just end up even more frustrated than I am now. After arguing with a 40 year old woman today about the fact that she needed to get up off of her lounge chair and walk ten feet to finish her pretzel, I decided that. (She argued that she no longer had the pretzel in question, and then waited until I turned my back, then she stuffed her chipmunk cheeks full of chewy, salted, hot pretzel.) 

watermelons slices with big black seeds

I just ate hot fudge out of the jar. Finished the milk from the jug.

And my stomach finally feels better.

pink cheeks

It was so humid today that while I ran, I couldn’t even feel the sweat on my skin. The air was so heavy and so still that it felt like I was working harder against the atmosphere than I was the pavement.

It’s sort of weird how that works, sometimes the hardest thing is never what you think it will be.

In other news, my cheeks are sunburnt as I decided (stupidly) to forego the face sunscreen today. Damn. 

Also, halfway to weight-loss goal before the KC concert ‘09.