my last words

Today I accidentally killed a moth. While waiting for the others to get out of their Spanish class, a friend and I stumbled upon a very neat looking moth. I proceeded to use my umbrella to gently bring it closer into view and examine the intricate details of it’s wings. It was very interesting, and after a few minutes of crawling down and up the points of my sumbrilla, I let it down on the ground, or tried to. It unclasped it’s weird looking legs and dropped to the floor, on it’s back. From there he did not move again. I felt and feel terrible about what I’ve done. A Spanish instructor came out within moments and informed me and my accomplice that the ‘mariposa’ (which was really a moth) was nocturnal and therefore couldn’t live in the sunlight. I had brought him out from the dark corner in which he was hiding. This is why we shant meddle in things not of our own worlds.

Today something happened that seemed more like a piece of a dream from long ago. I received an email from the admissions council of Duke Law. Now, I realize that this does not by any stretch of the imagination mean that I have secured a place in the 2009 incoming class; he did however mention my credentials, labeling them as oustanding (I’m floating, so I apologize for gloating) and offering me a fee waiver. I’ve officially been saved $215 to the four free schools that I can apply to. As I said, I’m flying. From as long as I knew what Duke Univ. was, I wanted to go there. For undergrad there really was no sense to leave Florida, regardless of the less than perfect education system: free school is free school. I can’t properly express how floored and awestruck that I’m within reach of a 10 year dream.

Conversation with Becky, that MUST be reproduced:

“Ciao for now. Yesterday, Dylan said that he used to want those to be his last words.”-Becky

“USED TO WANT those to be his last words? I’ve never even considered my last words, and especially not enough to used to want some, and now to have a different phrase in mind.” -Me

“That’s just one reason why I love Dylan so much.”-Becky

I agree. But now I can’t stop thinking what I would want my last words to be, if I indeed could choose what my last words would be. I suppose there’s the classic telling your loved ones how much you love them, how much they mean to you. As so many did during their last moments during 9/11. But maybe something else, maybe something witty, something nonsensical that could give everyone something to think about instead of being sad. Knowing me though, I’d probably end up running my mouth about something that doesn’t matter (or matters too much), something that is better left unsaid (things that no matter how many times I learn that I should just leave certain things well enough alone, I feel the need to spill. Inevitably making mess of that which was better off before.)

Last debate tonight.

I finished learning all 14 (of 16) verb tenses today in Spanish (because apparently the other 2 are very, very rare). Feeling accomplished even though to say I learned them, really is more like grasped an overall, general idea of their use, appearance and construction. To put into use, in the real world, well, that’s another story completely.

Oh. And I realize, I’m not quite the mermaid I thought I was, I’m near suffocation under this sea.