Growing up

I’m 24 now. 24 and a day. I’m probably not the same as I was last year, but I do feel pretty similar.

running

Today I realized how few runs I have left in my neighborhood. Then I thought about how many hundreds of miles I have run throughout the streets. I am pretty positive that I have run down every street in the neighborhood at least once, and I know that there are innumerable foot tracks down my traditional route. I have specific memories of specific thoughts I was thinking at any given point on the route, and I am thankful for them. I realized, also, that I have been running this neighborhood for a decade now, and at times I closed my eyes  just to make sure I could (don’t know what I was proving there, but by golly I PROVED IT)!

Every former boyfriend now is married, engaged, or living with someone. That’s a reality check. In other news though, I think I’ve finally figured out what it feels like to love someone, even be in love with them, regardless of the reciprocity. I think that’s progress… sort of?

New Year’s in 2 nights. Incredible. Mostly I hope to stop doing things that make me unhappy, whatever those things may be. And also, I’d really like to be able to do 1 pull up by the end of the year. Oh, and be a better daughter.

 

Off to bed for now, though!

Nothing has ever made me feel as insecure as this place.

Almost every stall in every bathroom in my grad school’s library has a broken lock. I’m not kidding, I’ve checked.

masochist

I am. Damnit.

My world is crumbling, and when I look in the mirror I don’t even recognize who I see anymore.

Life is more like wet sand than I’ve ever realized, the more you try to hold onto things, the faster they slip away.

hopeless

It is so very curious how cyclical life is, and that is both the controllable (it seems) and uncontrollable.

Stupid Seminoles. Damnit.

Seriously… I’ve been in school for 4 weeks. WHY IS TIME GOING BY SO QUICKLY????

Two years ago today was my second day at school in Costa Rica. How in the world does time go so fast?

And, at the same time, so SLOW! [Waiting for the clock to strike six so that I may get my behind out of here!]